On the cusp…
I am supposed to fly out tomorrow morning to California, where I was born and raised. Those plans are at risk. The Nor’easter storm is still raging and moving through the region very slowly. The forecast is that the winds will ease overnight, so I am hopeful. Flights are departing and arriving at T. F. Green Airport here in Warwick/Providence and at Baltimore/Washington Airport, where I pick up my connection to San Jose - fingers crossed. I am looking forward to seeing my sister and traveling around the homeland.
I am traveling light. I am not taking any of my “real” cameras on the trip. I will be working exclusively with my iPhone. I am not taking my laptop. I will be working exclusively with my iPad. This was not an easy decision; it took me most of the week to decide. In the end, the rationale was rather simple. Over time, I've learned there’s a difference between a photographic trip and an experiential trip — a vacation, for lack of a better term. When the trip focuses on photography, you often forget to relax, sit down, take a deep breath and look around. I want to look around and take in all that the Eastern Sierra Nevada Mountains, the Owens Valley, Death Valley, Mojave Desert and Joshua Tree Monument have to offer — the vistas, the light, the crisp air and the history. It is a chance to relive an earlier part of my life, when this region was my playground.
I will be making images; I will make them exclusively with my iPhone. The process was worthwhile. Going over what I wanted to do on the trip and how I wanted to record my travels in the end gave me some useful insight.
It’s been a struggle for some time to really dig in and make images. Many creative people have similar experiences. There are many terms for these experiences. The one I find most useful is writer’s block. You sit down at the typewriter/keyboard, and nothing comes to mind. I have been in that kind of funk for many months. I feel guilty, like I am letting myself down. Why do I have thousands of dollars of equipment I am not using? What will others think if I don’t make new work? If you are not careful, you fall into a pit of darkness and despair deeper and deeper.
Only recently have I found myself scrambling out of the pit of darkness and despair, and the tool that helped me find my footing was my iPhone. There is something liberating about not carrying around a bag of gear with the intention and burden of making some worthwhile images. I just have my iPhone in my pocket and pull it out when the moment seems right.
And I wish it were just that simple, but the right moments can be few and far between. In searching for some structure, a discipline for my image-making, regardless of the tools, I've committed to a 365 project for 2027. I want to make at least one image every day, all year. It does not matter how good the image is. It could be an image of my shadwow, as long as an image is made. I have attempted 365 projects before. I have always failed — miserably. To build the habit, I started training myself to make an image a day on September 1st, and I’ve kept to the regimen without fail so far. I have also been working on printing those images and putting them in a photo journal — but that is another journal entry for another day.
This 365 project has helped me recognize that for whatever reason, I am shaping my work to be more diaristic, a record of what I see and experience, rather than an expression of creativity. I am okay with that. It is an interesting exploration of what photography means in my life and what I want to do with my practice. I will use my iPhone and my journal to explore this further on my travels in the homeland. I will post journal entries during my travels. I don’t want to commit to posting one every day, as that would turn the trip into something more like a photographic tour. I will post when the moment seems right!